


what could have been

by gotham_ruaidh



Series: Gotham Writes for Imagine Claire & Jamie [149]
Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:26:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28239939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotham_ruaidh/pseuds/gotham_ruaidh
Summary: What if Bonnie Prince Charlie had died in France? In a post-05x12 "Never My Love" world, Jamie and Claire reflect on what could have been.
Series: Gotham Writes for Imagine Claire & Jamie [149]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/345047
Comments: 9
Kudos: 54





	what could have been

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted at [Imagine Claire & Jamie](https://imagineclaireandjamie.tumblr.com/post/638131975533772800/bonnie-prince-charlie-dies-in-france-of-natural) on tumblr

Jamie leaned a bit harder on the porch railing, shifting his feet on the floorboards he and Ian had hewn, watching his children and grandchildren race each other in the field.

Claire wordlessly appeared at his side, offering him a clay mug of hot cider. He clinked it against hers and sipped.

It was an unseasonably warm afternoon for October - and Jem and Germaine and Marsali and Joan and Fergus and Roger had abandoned their chores to chase and tumble.

He didn’t mind. It had been such a hard year - such a hard month. But Claire was slowly on the mend. Back to seeing patients in her surgery. Back to reaching out for his hand, and pulling him close to her in bed. Back to smiling every once in a while.

“Can I ask ye a question?”

He didn’t need to see her face to know it would have a puzzled expression. “I’d think that by now we would be past the point of asking.”

He set down his mug on the railing, watching Germaine let Jemmy tackle him to the ground, giggling.

“You ken that I often think on the nature of change. I change one thing in my early years, and I trace what may have changed in my later years.”

She cleared her throat. “I know. We’ve talked about it before. God knows I think about how my life would have been, had I not seen those forget-me-nots at the stone circle. Or had I not seen the notice in the paper of Reverend Wakefield’s death.” She paused. “You’ve told me that you’ve often thought about what if your father had been home and not off to a funeral when the redcoats came to Lallybroch.”

“Aye.”

She sipped her cider. “So what are you thinking about now, then?”

He straightened. “What if Charles Stuart had dropped dead in Paris. Natural causes or otherwise.”

She let out a deep breath. “I see. Not what we’ve talked about - had we killed him at Culloden.”

“Aye. That’s my question to ye, Claire - do you think that that would have been a big enough change?”

For a long moment, Claire watched Brianna and Marsali quietly speak to each other while their sons ran around them like wildcats.

“Big enough to change the course of history? Or big enough to change our own history?”

Gently he reached for her right hand, and protectively curled his fingers around it. “We would have been able to leave Paris earlier, or to stay there longer. I could have continued working for Jared. From what ye’ve told me, we still may have lost our lass…”

Claire nodded, eyes suddenly filling with tears.

“…But we could have built a life there. No matter what, there wouldnae have been a Rising. We would have had Bree, and she would have grown up speaking French. Ye would have stayed here, in this time.”

She pursed her lips. “I don’t disagree. But why are you thinking about this now, Jamie?”

He turned to face her. Released her hand. Raised his palm to her cheek, his thumb gentle on her still-bruised skin. “It would have been a simpler life. I - we - would have had more. But we would have had less, too. You wouldnae have been to medical school. I…I wouldnae have served in prison, but I wouldnae have met John. Willie - he wouldnae have been born. Bree wouldnae have ever met Roger. Fergus wouldnae have ever met Marsali. We wouldnae have our grandbairns. We wouldnae be here, right now, in North Carolina.”

His eyes were so full of love, she could hardly bear looking at them.

“We drive ourselves mad looking back. Can we not look forward?”

He closed his eyes.

“We have so much to look forward to, Jamie. Don’t we?”

Gently, carefully he leaned down so that his forehead touched hers.

“Aye,” his whispered. “Every day we have is a day we never expected to have.”

In the field, Brianna watched her parents embrace on the porch.

Roger appeared at her elbow, heaving deep breaths.

“Warms my heart,” he panted, winding an arm around her.

She nodded, suddenly not able to find the words.


End file.
